Marvel vs DC! Two nearly unkillable bikers enter the ring, but only one will come out alive!
Boomstick: When you see these guys tearing rubber down the highway, get out of the way. These are bikers who make the Hell’s Angels look like the Girl Scouts. They’re the best riders Marvel and DC have to offer, the hardest bikers in the multiverse.
Wiz: Like Johnathon Blaze, A.K.A, the Ghost Rider...
Boomstick: And Lobo, the last Czarnian. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Ghost Rider Edit
Wiz: Johnathon "Johnny" Blaze, a stunt daredevil, was the son of Barton Blaze and Naomi Kale, born in Waukegan, Illinois. He spent his early years in the Quentin Carnival where his parents starred in a stunt show with Craig "Crash" Simpson. Johnny's mother walked out on Barton and Johnny and took the family's remaining two children, Barbara and Danny, with her.
Boomstick: Losing his mother caused Johnny to repress many of his memories of her and his siblings. When his father died in a stunt, Johnny was adopted by Crash and Mona Simpson. The Simpsons helped Johnny by fabricating his past with the hope that it would be less painful than the truth. Now believing that his real mother was Clara Blaze, who had died, Johnny became an enthusiastic member of the Simpson clan, growing closer to their daughter, Roxanne. The two soon became inseparable and, as they grew older their fondness for one another moved beyond familiar.
Wiz: Blaze would eventually join the Simpsons in their own traveling stunt show, the Crash Simpson Stunt Cycle Extravaganza. Crash had become a real father figure in Blaze's eyes, and on learning of Crash's life-threatening cancer, Blaze turned to the occult. His studies led him to a spell which supposedly could summon Satan himself. Johnny was unaware that he had in fact summoned Mephisto. Desperate to save Crash, Blaze sold his soul to Mephisto in return for Crash's cancer to be cured.
Boomstick: Crash Simpson's cancer was cured and Johnny believed he would live; however, Crash soon died after a stunt trying to jump over 22 cars. Mephisto, when confronted by Blaze over Crash's death, declared that he had kept his end of the bargain. Johnny's exact words in the bargain had been for Crash to be spared the cancer which was killing him, not for him to live, though this had been Johnny's intent. True to his word, Mephisto had ensured that Crash had not died of cancer, but instead had lost his life during the failed jump, which Mephisto quickly pointed out when he came to claim his prize. Blaze, still at the mercy of Mephisto, believed he would lose his soul until he was saved by Roxanne. Roxanne proclaimed her love for Blaze, and drove Mephisto away with the purity of her emotion.
Wiz: Blaze was unaware that Mephisto had bonded him with the demon Zarathos as an act of revenge for not being able to obtain Johnny's soul for himself. Johnny was transformed into a Ghost Rider, a leather-clad skeleton, his head cloaked in a sheath of flame, the night after Crash's death.
Boomstick: As a primal agent of Heaven, empowered by the Spirits of Vengeance, created by the power of God Himself ages past to enact vengeance upon the sinners of mankind, Johnny Blaze is one of the most powerful entities within the mortal and immortal realms. The common theme of the Ghost Rider is a human host who transforms into a flaming-headed motorcyclist with supernatural powers. When riding their bikes, the vehicles can travel faster than conventional motorcycles and can maneuver impossible feats such as riding straight up a vertical surface or across water.
Ghost Rider jumps off a building while riding his Hell Cycle, swings his chain downward, and drives down the building vertically.
Boomstick: Screw you, gravity! I have a flaming skull!
Wiz: The Hell Cycle is also mentally commanded and obeys him even when he is not near them.
Boomstick: Ghost Rider can also make use of the mystic chain. Much like the Hell Cycle, it obeys Ghost Rider's mental commands.
Wiz: It can also grow in length, lasso his enemies toward him, spin fast enough to cut through almost anything, can be turned into a staff, and even split apart into shurikens.
Boomstick: Ghost Rider also possesses superhuman strength, being able to lift 25 tons. He also has a insane healing factor, as he managed to regenerate his skull with no discomfort.
Wiz: He also has a shotgun, which can channel hellfire through it to fire off devastating blasts. Speaking of hellfire, Ghost Rider is capable of generating, projecting, and controlling hellfire at will. He can project it from his body, channel it through his weapons, create walls of it, and even unleash it in explosions capable of causing the Hulk great pain.
Boomstick: His durability is friggin' ridiculous. He's nearly immune to all types of earthly physical damage. He doesn't even feel pain, no matter how severe the injury.
Wiz: But when all else fails, he unleashes the Penance Stare, which causes its victims to experience all of the pain from the sins that they themselves have inflicted. Not only can it knock out individuals, it can even kill.
Boomstick: The last thing you'd want to do is challenge this guy to a staring contest.
Wiz: He can even increase in size.
Boomstick: I wanna be a stunt rider when I GROW up!
Wiz: While Ghost Rider's powers are legendary, Johnny's human side limits the Ghost Rider's true potential. Dr. Strange hypothesized that with Zarathos in control, his powers become boundless and basically godlike.
Boomstick: It's pretty much like this: with Johnny Blaze in control, Ghost Rider was easily defeated by the Hulk. While Johnny was knocked out, Zarathos took over and Ghost Rider was back on his feet. And if he had fought the Hulk, who knows what kind of thrashing he would've unleashed while unbound.
Wiz: But he rode off immediately afterward because the Spirit of Vengeance only protects the innocent, and the Hulk's targets, the Illuminati, were not. While the Penance Stare is one of Ghost Rider’s greatest weapons, it doesn’t always work. It has no effect on blind opponents, the mentally unstable-
Deadpool: Who are you calling "mentally unstable"?!
Wiz: Get out of here, Wade!
Deadpool: Don't you know an insulted unkillable mercenary when you see one?!
Wiz: Anyway, the Penance Stare has no effect on blind opponets, (Whispering) the mentally unstable, (Normal), those without a soul, and even those bonded with a symbiote. Sometimes it has even backfired and knocked him out cold.
Boomstick: A near-invincible fiery skeleton knocked out cold by his own move? Meh, I've heard worse. Not to mention he’s lost the Spirit of Vengeance more times than you’ve lost your phone. Hell, one time, the freakin' Punisher removed it.
Wiz: Granted he was only able to do so while wielding Mephisto's Sword. And while he's generally unaffected by earthly attacks, he can be harmed by weapons forged in heaven. But Ghost Rider's flaws are very few and his strengths are beyond impressive.
Boomstick: Evil beware, for if you commit... uh... more evil, the last thing you'd ever want is to run into the Spirit of Vengeance.
Gressil: Please... have mercy.
Ghost Rider: Sorry. All out of mercy.
Wiz: Lobo is a Czarnian with exceptional strength and fortitude. He enjoys nothing better than mindless violence and intoxication, and killing is an end in itself; his name roughly translates as "he who devours your entrails and thoroughly enjoys it." He is arrogant and self-centered, focusing almost solely on his own pleasures, although he proudly lives up to the letter of his promises - but always no more or no less than what he promised. Lobo is the last of his kind, having committed complete genocide by killing all the other Czarnians for sport.
Boomstick: As a Czarnian, Lobo possesses extraordinary strength of undefined limits, sometimes being of a similar level to Superman. Lobo also possesses superhuman smell to trace someone across galactic distances.
Wiz: He is also durable enough to survive unprotected in deep space and withstand powerful explosive blasts without sustaining injury. If Lobo sustains injury, his accelerated healing factor enables him to regenerate damaged or destroyed tissue with superhuman speed and efficiency, and little apparent pain. Lobo also is functionally immortal. He is immune to the effects of aging and disease and has been banned from entering either heaven or hell. As such, even though he can sustain sufficient injury to be out of commission for quite some time, he will apparently heal from any injury, given sufficient time. For instance, Lobo can regenerate out of a pool of his own blood, apparently recycling the cells.
Boomstick: At one time, Lobo could grow a copy of himself, possessing all of his skills and powers, out of every drop of his blood that was spilled. This power was removed by Vril Dox during Lobo's time with L.E.G.I.O.N., but Lobo regained it in the series Young Justice, in which he was de-aged by Klarion the Witch Boy and slaughtered while on a mission to Apokolips. His blood reformed into thousands of Lobo clones who waged war on the planet and then proceeded to murder each other until only the current Lobo was left. One of his other clones, Slo-Bo, survived, but later began to fall apart until being dealt with by Darkseid. In 52, he again regenerated from a pool of blood, but no clones were created so he no longer appears to retain this ability.
Wiz: He also has a large assortment of knives and a trusty shotgun.
Boomstick: Lobo can also use some of his cigars as bombs, which is just insane. He also has Ear Chips, which literally play heavy metal music into his ear, so that he can get immune to attacks that would hit his mind. Sorry opponent, you're not allowed to mind control me.
Wiz: Lobo's main weapon is his chain. Whether he's tearing through people, slamming them against the ground, or just sticking them to the walls, it's a useful weapon for Lobo.
Boomstick: Thought Deadpool was the most annoying comic book character? Well think again!
Deadpool appears again.
Wiz and Boomstick: GET OUT OF HERE!
Deadpool: Fine! (Whispering) God, I hate these two. Would have hated 'em even more if they made me lose to that ripoff of me...
Deadpool leaves again.
Boomstick: Anyway, one time, Lobo got SO annoying, he got kicked out of Heaven and Hell. No joke.
Wiz: Lobo can also use the SpazFrag 666, a motorcycle that comes with missiles, lasers, and more.
Boomstick: But despite his immortality, The Mask was still able to kill him. Still, I would hate to be the next guy on his shitlist.
Lobo: The name's Lobo. That's L as in 'lacerate', O as in 'obliterate', B as in 'disembowel', and O as in, uh... well, I guess I can use 'obliterate' twice.
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE! Edit
A strange looking alien wearing a hood over his head is shown walking through the streets of Earth. He turns into an alleyway and Lobo holding a chain. Lobo throws the chain and pierces the alien's chest. Lobo pulls the chain and a bloody mess pulls out.
Lobo: The main man always gets the job done.
Lobo turns to see Ghost Rider.
Lobo: And who the hell are you?
Ghost Rider: I am the Ghost Rider. And you shall pay for the suffering that you have brought upon others.
Lobo: Are you saying what I think you're saying? Cause of you are, this is gonna be fun.
Ghost Rider: You shall feel the fire that burns men's souls.
Lobo slams Ghost Rider against the ground with his chain before punching him in the stomach twice and firing his shotgun. Ghost Rider retaliates by punching Lobo in the chest, forcing him back. Lobo fires his shotgun again. Ghost Rider knees Lobo in the stomach before uppercutting him. He then breathes hellfire in Lobo's face. The Hell Cycle then arrives and the front wheel crushes Lobo's skull. However, Lobo regenerates as gets up.
Lobo: Ohoho, this is gonna have our audience on the edge of their seats.
Deadpool suddenly teleports behind Lobo.
Deadpool: Hey, that's my job!
Ghost Rider and Lobo: Who the hell are you?
Deadpool: The name's Deadpool, sirs. I just came here to inform this ripoff of me that talking to our audience is my job.
Lobo: I am not a ripoff! Now get outta here before I blow your head off!
Deadpool: Unfortunately, all that would do is just piss me off further.
A record is heard scratching.
Deadpool: Wait a minute! Aren't you supposed to be unkillable, too? Aha! You are a ripoff of-!
Ghost Rider breathes hellfire at Deadpool, shutting him up.
Deadpool: Oh no! I'm on fire! Get some water! Oh, wait. Fire doesn't kill me. (Slaps himself) Idiot! Anyway, once I put this fire out myself, you'll both be sorry!
Deadpool then teleports.
Lobo: Thank God he's gone. Now, where were...
Ghost Rider has disappeared.
Lobo searches for Ghost Rider.
Lobo: Come out and fight, you fiery coward!
He is suddenly knocked down by the Hell Cycle. Lobo gets up and turns around to receive a face-full of hellfire. Ghost Rider then punches Lobo repeatedly. The Hell Cycle then knocks Lobo down again.
Lobo: Get your pet under control!
Ghost Rider: This isn't a pet, my friend. It's hellfire.
He then breathes hellfire at Lobo before uppercutting him. As Lobo gets up, Ghost Rider swings his chain, slicing off Lobo's arm. As Lobo's arm regenerates, Ghost Rider swings the chain again, but Lobo dodges it. Ghost Rider swings the chain a few more times before managing to decapitate Lobo after a fifth swing. However, Lobo regenerates.
Ghost Rider: Why won't you die?!
Ghost Rider runs toward Lobo to punch him, but Lobo dodges Ghost Rider's attack and shoots him with his shotgun.
Lobo: Because I am immortal! I cannot be killed!
Ghost Rider angrily breathes hellfire at Lobo before punching him repeatedly and slicing his legs off with his chain. Ghost Rider then sets Lobo ablaze by breathing hellfire all over his body. However, Lobo laughs as he regenerates.
Lobo: When are you ever gonna give up? I cannot be killed, remember?
Ghost Rider: I can't be killed either. However, only one of us shall die, and that someone who shall die will be YOU!
Ghost Rider then punches Lobo in the face before uppercutting him. The Hell Cycle then knocks Lobo down. The mystic chain then entangles Lobo. Ghost Rider grabs a struggling Lobo by the neck and holds him up.
Ghost Rider: Your soul is tainted with the blood of the innocent. Feel. Their. SUFFERING!
Ghost Rider then unleashes the Penance Stare on Lobo. Ghost Rider drops Lobo and walks away.
Lobo suddenly starts laughing. A baffled Ghost Rider turns around and Lobo's laughter gets louder and harder.
Lobo: OH MAN! Oh man, I REMEMBER THAT! When I blew up my planet? Damn, that was awesome! I thought just poisoning my people was enough, but it wasn't! I BLEW THE WHOLE THING UP AS A SCIENCE PROJECT! HAHAHAHAHA! Did you know I gave myself an A+? I did! I totally did!
Ghost Rider is so taken aback by this his flames freeze still. He stares at him for a moment before shrugging. He hooks Lobo to the back of the Hell Cycle and drives away.
Boomstick: Hey, wait a second! He's not dead! That K.O. shouldn't have been there!
Wiz: This was nearly impossible to determine. They both have ridiculous healing factors that could keep them in the game indefinitely. However, we've ultimately came to the conclusion that Ghost Rider would be the winner.
Boomstick: Immobilization is always the next best thing, and despite being barred from Heaven or Hell... Lobo's been frequently incapacitated in all sorts of ways. Like that one time, when he was de-aged into a teenager, he was trapped in a statue for several millennia. Likewise, his regeneration, immortality and afterlife ban have never been a shield against magic and supernatural attacks; he has no special resistance to it. Ghost Rider's hellfire would still have hurt like, well, hell, regardless.
Wiz: Both their bikes, incidentally, were equal in terms of speed. However, as it turns out, Ghost Rider's Hell Cycle has performed FTL feats, meaning it could easily keep up with the galaxy-traversing SpazFrag. More so. Dimension-hopping kinda trumps galaxy hopping. It "is" essentially bending time and space to allow quicker and easier means of transportation across vast distances, and Rider's able to jump between Hell, Earth and other dimensions whenever he wants to.
Boomstick: It's worth noting Lobo... didn't really have any real means to take down Ghost Rider permanently. Smash in his skull, it reforms. Shoot him through the chest, he'll regenerate his jacket as an afterthought. Nothing short of supernatural weapons can incapacitate Ghost Rider for long.
Wiz: And you can't even say Lobo edges out in combat ability. Both have taken on some of the heaviest hitters of their respective universes. Superman for Lobo, Thor for Ghost Rider. They've been around the block enough times to pick up a few moves.
Boomstick: Even in combat, the two could have fought into an endless stalemate. It's frequently hinted Ghost Rider's strength is dependent on who he faces, fluctuating depending on the severity of the targets in question. It's why he was able to fight Greenscar Hulk to a draw, a feat only rivalled by the Sentry. And with Lobo's regeneration, they could have kept fighting til the end of time.
Wiz: Hence, the deciding factor, the Penance Stare. We've been receiving thoughts on this for awhile, with some arguing Lobo should have been immune due to his "insanity." They've cited the one time Deadpool - both a frequent combatant on the Death Battle circuit and one of our colleagues - was subject to the Penance Stare. Deadpool's brand of insanity was so intense it reverted Ghost Rider back to Johnny Blaze... except, well, we checked that out. Wade might have been able to punch out Blaze afterwards, but he still experienced unbelievable pain.
Boomstick: And there's no guarantee Lobo has that same level of insanity... or that he's insane at all. He's an asshole with virtually no empathy for anything that isn't dolphin shaped, but being a self-centered violent asshole doesn't make you crazy. It just, you know, makes you an asshole.
Wiz: There is no guarantee Lobo would have been protected from the Penance Stare. There is a reason Ghost Rider is one of the most dreaded anti-heroes in Marvel history. The Penance Stare has even managed to bring down the likes of Galactus himself.
Boomstick: Lobo should've known better than to stare.
Wiz: The winner is Ghost Rider.
Advantages & Disadvantages Edit
Ghost Rider Edit
+ Capable of fluctuating his strength levels to match Lobo's
+ An excellent brawler in his own right
+ Lobo had no real means of defeating him for good
+ The Hell Cycle can match the SpazFrag's speed and cross dimensions
+ Hellfire smarts, man
+ Penance Stare FTW
- They both have incredible healing factors
+ Probably one of the greatest brawlers in the DC Universe
+ Damn entertaining to watch
+ Packs more weapons than Ghost Rider
+ Regeneration could have kept him in the game indefinitely
- However, said weapons are generally ill-suited to defeat Ghost Rider
- No real defence against the Penance Stare
Next Time Edit
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!
A tiger is seen stalking a zebra. The zebra is suddenly tackled by a lion with brown fur, a black mane and a scar on it's right eye. The tiger roars in anger, which attracts the attention of the lion. The lion roars at the tiger in challenge, who responds with a roar of acceptance.