Episode 2-Fleischer Studios vs Nintendo! Cartoonishly strong brutes who can eat something to get stronger and are smarter than they look.
Wiz: Brute strength.While it rarely mixes with intelligence,some people prefer to make their character
Boomstick: Such as Wario,Mario's rival.
Wiz: And Popeye,the sailor man.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons,armor and skills to find out who would win...a Death Battle.
Wiz: The year was 1939. The assassination of Franz Fernidand had started a chain of events leading to world war ll.
Boomstick: During this war,Japan thought that it would be a good idea to explode an American navy base called pearl harbor.They thought wrong.
Wiz: For you see, America had a secret weapon up their sleeves. Something truly powerful, devastating, destructive, and his name......was Popeye The Sailor Man.
"I'm Popeye the Sailor Man. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man, I'm strong to the finich, cause I eats me spinach, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man."
Boomstick:Yes, this sailor was a valuable asset to the 'Murican army during WWll.
Wiz:And for good reason.This beast of a man carries strength surpassing any normal human being.
Boomstick: He can also stretch his body to absurd lengths which would put Luffy to shame.
Wiz: And his smoking pipe can be used as a jet engine, propeller, cutting torch, and a periscope.It can also be used to suck up his signature power-up,a can of spinach.
Boomstick:You know Wiz, i always wondered,why spinach? Not like it's a superfood or anything...
Wiz:Actually,that was due to a typo in which a decimal was placed too far to the right,making it look like it had over 10 times the iron it actually did.
Boomstick: Well whatever the case,spinach has a lot
weird awesome effects on Popeye,such as increasing his strength,durability and even intelligence to the point where he can become a brilliant scientist.
A lot of them, so just zoom in on this:
Boomstick: Despite having settled down after the war to fight in a love triangle, Popeye still remained as strong as ever. Also pretty smart too, as he convinced people that his existence and fists were the key to world peace.
Wiz:In spite of this, Popeye does have some weaknesses.
-Spinach has a time limit
-Not as strong without spinach
Boomstick: Still though, if you wanna live, then don't mess with this sailor.
Wiz:The man known as Wario was designed to be the complete opposite of Mario in every way.
Boomstick:Fat, Greedy, Selfish...seems like an antithesis to me
Wiz:Like Mario, Wario was raised on an island by yoshis. Unlike Mario, he had a thing for money as a baby and constantly threw tantrums. Due to his jealousy of Mario's fame, the two grew up to become bitter rivals, and eventually started fighting each other.
Boomstick: Which always resulted in Wario getting his ass kicked. Eventually he decided to start doing his own shit, biking and fighting crazy monsters to find money.
Wiz:Wario possesses immense strength and durabillity, enough to rival that of Mario's. He can use it to pull off various special moves.
Boomstick: His signature dash attack has him ram into his opponent with a shoulder charge.The piledriver is exacly what it sounds like.
Wiz: He can also crush enemies with his sheer weight and preforming an extremely powerful punch known as the earthshake punch,which...well,shakes the earth.
Boomstick: With the Wario Waft, he uses his ass as a weapon that unleashes a noxious fart.
Wiz:And by eating nasty garlic, he can become Wario Man,which is basically his super form
+Defeated Black Jewel and the Shake King
+Tanked the Shake King's explosion
+Destroyed a building that towered over mountains
+Built an inter dimensional teleportation machine in seconds
Boomstick: He may not look it,but this guy is smart, creating the cross dimensional telemat in a matter of seconds
Wiz:He also survived the shake king's explosion,which produced enough energy to destroy a moon.
Boomstick:Even a guy like Wario still has his flaws
-Usually blinded by greed
-Wario Man has a time limit
Boomstick: Regardless, do not call him fat, or you will regret it.
“So admit it..... Don't I look cool in the game screens? Those long, muscular legs on my sturdy toned frame.... I'm the perfect specimen of a man ..... What!?!? You say I look fat and my quadruple chin looks like a waterfall of flab? Shut up! That's just because you have your television set up on widescreen display!”
Wiz: Alright,the combatants are set,let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a death batllllllllllle!
Wario is biking throughout Popeye's town when he sees a poster advertising a strength contest and offering a lot of money for the winner.Wario, being Wario, signs up immediately.
At the contest,Wario picks up a car, But his opponent,Popeye the Sailor Man, lifted up a car and a truck.
Not wanting to lose ,Wario dash attacks Popeye, starting the fight
Popeye runs at wario and punches him with a combo. Wario retaliates with a kick and an uppercut.After landing,Popeye ignites his smoking pipe and blasts a jet of fire at Wario. Wario narrowly avoids the attack by jumping,but then Popeye turns around and propels himself towards Wario. They collide and fall to the ground.They both get up and Wario sends Popeye away with an earthshake punch. Wario runs up to Popeye,but gets grabbed by him and burned by flames from the smoking pipe.However, Wario then headbutts him. As Popeye gets up,Wario charges up a powerful punch and hits Popeye with enough force to send him to the moon.Wario laughs,believing he has won,and then turns to the contest's judge.
Somewhere on the moon
Popeye pulls his head out of the ground and pulls out a can of spinach.He pops it open,eats it,and then slowy spins his fist behind his back and punches the moon, destroying half of it.
Meanwhile,Back on Earth....
"Give you the money?I can't give you the money,you cheated!" The judge said to Wario. Wario then slammed his fist on the ground in anger, demanding the victory money. But then he saw a bunch of huge rocks coming from the sky. Everybody in the town fled, screaming, as Wario ate some nasty garlic and became Wario Man.He used the Wario Waft to jump into the moon pieces and smash them. But as he smashed the last piece, Popeye was revealed to be behind it.Popeye stretched his fist back and hits Wario with it,smashing him into the ground.As Wario reverted back to normal,Popeye grabbed him.
Popeye then stretches his fist back and hits Wario, sending him to Venus with enough force to destroy both Wario and the planet.
Popeye lifts up Olive Oyl and runs away with her as Wario's hat floats through outer space.
Wiz: This was a pretty close fight-
Boomstick: Pffffffffffffft,don't kid yourself, Wiz.
Wiz: *sigh*While they were evenly matched in their base forms,The fight was practically over once Popeye ate the spinach.
Boomstick: That guy has punched holes through mountains, damaged the moon and even destroyed the constellations, Which would take the energy needed to destroy multiple solar systems!
Wiz:Even though Wario did survive that moon level explosion, that is a pretty big outlier when you consider that he gets beaten around by Mario. Not to mention the calculator is a stupid jerk who didn't listen when someone debunked it because they watched our show. The winner is Popeye the Sailor Man.
Next time on DEATH BATTLE! Edit
A blue blur runs past the screen. It then turns around and stops in front of the camera, revealing himself to be Sonic the Hedgehog. Suddenly, an ultra ball is thrown in front of him and opens, covering the screen in a white flash.